Midlife Crisis: Coping with the Questions in your Mind

According to collinsdictionary.com, Middle age is usually considered to take place between the ages of 40 and 60. Questions requiring answers start to linger inside your mind during this period. Thus, the Midlife Crisis begins.

Before, I thought that it is just a state when you want to feel young again. Now that I am a middle-aged mother, I believe it is a lot deeper than that. For some, crisis starts in their relationships, career, health and even the way they think about themselves.

The midlife crisis will not be called a crisis if it is not a serious matter. It is a dilemma every person is vulnerable to experience. Ask for help if you are struggling.

 

Here are some of the questions middle-aged adults begin to ponder about.

  1. How can I look younger than my age?

This is your predicament when you start to notice the wrinkles on your face, the sagging double chin and the shaggy grey hair on your head that tends to make you look older. People cope by having a medical procedure that will make them feel good and confident again. For a cheaper alternative, a makeover both in hairstyle and wardrobe will do the trick.

 

Others, they just grow old gracefully and accept the lines on one’s face and sagging skin are parts of growing old. They see grey hair as a mark of maturity and experience and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

  1. How can I be unstuck in this career?

This is the common crisis for people whose motivation is promotion, pay raise and recognition. It is heart-wrenching when you get by-passed by other individuals you feel you are better in terms of performance and education.

 

If a promotion is becoming an elusive dream, frustration sets in. Middle-aged adults feel they are trapped. For them, changing careers is risky because they have a family to support. They think they are already too old to start all over again.

 

  1. I do not know what to do with my life. What should I do?

Some middle-aged adults are still confused on what to do with their lives. They thought they already have figured it out and yet they do not. Indecision, financial hardships and relationship blunders often diminish their self-esteem to finally resolve these issues.

They feel helpless, hopeless and fearful. You may see them in public as if everything is alright but deep in their minds they are in turmoil. What to do? What do I need to do?

Photo by Ian Espinosa

 

 

  1. Should I let go or should I hold on in this relationship?

This is a mentally challenging question for someone in a relationship that started with love but becoming gradually toxic. The relationship endured years of ups and downs. Now as a middle-aged person, you are contemplating gaining your happiness back with or without the person you love.

 

  1. Is this it?

You are so successful in your career. The abundance of wealth is within your reach. Your family is enjoying a life of luxury. Fame is an achievement. However, this is the question that is bothering you. IS THIS IT?

This middle-aged person feels that there is still that “something” that is missing in his/her life. This particular “something” will make him/her complete. So goes the epic quest of finding out what will make him/her truly whole.

 

  1. What is my purpose?

This question is so deep, you will be asking yourself for days, months or even years depending on your way of thinking. Why am I here on planet earth?

 

  1. Am I being a good parent to my child?

For middle-aged parents, this is a query that will give you sleepless nights especially when your child, teenager or young adult are doing things contradictory to what you are teaching them.

At the moment of despair, you are pondering, where have I gone wrong?

 

  1. How can I let go of this resentment?

Oh, the wonderful world of regrets. It could have been. What if? It should have, could have. Looking back at your significant life decisions, you could have done it differently. Misery starts to stay inside your mind. Remember, you have an option not to be miserable.

 

  1. Why am I devastated and furious?

Oh, why oh why? Dig deeper. The answer will come. However, if you are in denial, sorrow and rage will prevail. Acknowledge the reason so you can find a solution for it.

 

  1. When will good luck come into my life?

You have been waiting for years for good luck to come into your life.  Disappointment crawls in. Are you doing something about it?

Photo by Emily Morter

In the midst of confusion, the good news is you are a middle-aged adult. You still have a long way to go to make your life better. It is not too late. Let us just say that we agree that job productivity reaches its peak at 70 years old (other people go beyond this age and are still immensely productive)

If you are 40, you still have 30 years to change for the better in all aspects.

Celebrated your 50th birthday? You still have 20 years to enjoy what life has to offer at work.

Loving it at  60? You still have 10 years to seize the moments at the workplace.

People cope differently when issues in their lives come.

Some people seek guidance from the Holy Bible. They hear the calling of prayer and wisdom from Bible verses.

Others practice meditation to get enlightenment from their questions.

Others ask for advice from a trustworthy person. Be careful who you choose to listen to.

For some, the gradual change from within by deciding to move on with their lives helps a lot.

Others act according to their gut feeling. We have that certain instinct in us on how to manage ourselves.

Furthermore, some individuals finally forgive themselves and the person who caused their pain.

Photo by Ankush Minda

 

To all my fellow middle-aged adults out there, I believe we are in the best part of our lives. We already have accumulated experiences (also known as mistakes) that will help us decide better and come out stronger. We are not yet too old to worry that the clock is ticking and our time is almost up. It is so good to be alive NOW!

My dear reader, may you have the answers to the questions that are hovering in your mind for a long time. From those answers, may you have the peace, joy and renewal of strength to appreciate LIFE. It doesn’t have to be a midlife crisis.

IT CAN BE A MIDLIFE BLISS.