Did you try something because it is your choice or you have to? The consequences might be good or bad. The effects may be short-term or even a lifetime. Here are the 10 things I tried.

1. I tried to say what was on my mind.

To say or not to say, that is the question. When you decide to express it, how you say it becomes important. I learned this the hard way.

1. It feels so good to release what really is bothering you.
2. You hurt someone close to you.
3. You were able to correct someone’s assumption of you.
4. Relationships become better or worse.
5. You were able to say something that changed the way people think and behave.

No matter how good your intention is in stating it, if the delivery is too emotional, the communication is totally lost.  Both of you become defensive and listening with an open mind is impossible.

Photo by Michelle Phillips

2. I tried to DIET and Exercise.

These are the two words every middle-aged mum will have to DO AND CONQUER.  Being a middle-aged mum, I know I am not getting any younger anymore and lifestyle changes are necessary.

Let us start with DIET. Articles I read stated that healthy eating means everything in moderation. You don’t have to starve or deprive yourself of food you really love. It is a healthy lifestyle that you can keep up without screaming at yourself that you had ENOUGH!

Photo by Markus Spiske

I posted on my blog an article about cravings. Craving for a comfort food during an emotional turmoil is a  weakness of many (including me). It really takes discipline to stop stress-eating.  I believe there is always a way. I am still in the process of finding the way.

There is a long list of benefits of exercise but remaining CONSISTENT in doing it is a struggle. I was able to do it and lost weight before my wedding. I gained it back after giving birth to three boys. Experts say do what you love and for me, dancing is one of them. Let’s see what happens in the future with this type of exercise. I SALUTE you if you can shed off the kilos permanently!

Photo by Chris Arock

3. I tried to write a blog.

I have never taken a writing course or journalism but decided to try and start a blog.

The question WHAT IF is no longer in my head. This website is good for one year. I am writing to express my thoughts and feelings. Through this, I can

make someone happy,

let a reader ponder an idea,

share a concept or two and

even change me for the better.

I may not be the best writer but if I was able to touch someone’s life with the words I wrote, then I can say, I am glad I TRIED TO WRITE A BLOG. If I couldn’t maintain this website in the future, I can still say to myself, at least I became a mum blogger once in my lifetime! Thank you for reading.

Photo by Parker Byrd

 

4. I tried to be a POSITIVE THINKER.

My line of thought was something might go wrong. I am Mrs. Worrier.

However, my thinking changed when I read the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. It never occurred to me that one day the person who would improve my way of thinking is an Australian. Never in my wildest imagination that one day, my family and I will migrate to Australia.

Worrying is a part of a mum’s life but gradually having a positive mindset improves your coping skills. Pessimism will creep in when you are at your lowest point. It is crucial to be surrounded with people who remind you to stay positive. A person cheering that you will overcome the issue can boost your morale.

Photo by Jessica Bristow

5. I tried to talk to a STRANGER while waiting.

There was a time when there was no wi-fi or smartphones and all you have to do is wait with other human beings. I tried to strike a conversation while waiting in line at the bus stop, in the hospital, in the restaurant and at school.

I tried to say:

“ What’s the time?”

“ It is so warm today, isn’t it?”

“ Hello, your face looks familiar. Do you live..”

“ Are you a Filipino?” and other conversation starters.  If the person has a short answer then the person is not in the mood to talk. If the person looks you in the eye and says more than you ask for then it’s a good start.

I had different experiences chatting with strangers.

Stranger 1:  The person wanted someone to talk to and was glad to have a company. I had a chat with an old woman on the bus and we were both going to the same hospital.She was battling cancer and she doesn’t know if she will still live the following year. We ended up hugging each other. It was my purpose to be her listening seatmate that day. I wished her well.

Stranger 2: The elderly mum gave advice on how to raise sons. I was waiting for my order and she sat in front of me. She told me it’s her 75^th birthday and her son’s 50^th birthday on that day and waiting for her salon appointment. She commented, “ Have TIME for your sons. Let them be active in sports so that their minds will not think of silly things.”

Stranger 3: The man told me about buying a house. We were renting that time. I didn’t see that guy anymore but while conversing with him, he made me realize that we had to save money if we decide to give a down payment when purchasing our first home.

Stranger 4: We talked to a stranger in the shops. He and his family became our friends since 2010.

For me, it is not a coincidence meeting random individuals. There is a reason.

Photo by Tobias Zils

6. I tried to LISTEN.

An acquaintance once suggested to me to try to listen to my husband for 10 minutes without interrupting him and see what happens. I am a chatter-box and my husband is a listener. Even when we were dating, he was a man-of-few-words type of guy (or maybe he was just shy to interrupt haha).

After having two sons, I DID. (What?! You might say.)

I set the timer for 10 minutes and I gave my best not to interrupt him. At first, he didn’t know what to say because from the beginning he was the listener. He started telling me things that happened way back in his childhood. I tried to keep my mouth shut. It was hard because I am the type of person reacting within a few minutes in the discussion. After 10 minutes or more, his voice became hoarse due to non-stop talking.

Wow, what a revelation. I learned things about him he didn’t even mention in our first years of being married. Give guys the chance to talk and stop interrupting.Be patient.

Photo by rawpixel.com

7. I tried to VOLUNTEER.

It is quite scary for me when I volunteer for a task. However, one good thing I learned when volunteering is it broadens your mind. There are various people you meet whether it is in the church, school or community.

You learn through experience tasks like public speaking, serving other people and communicating with individuals with multi-cultural backgrounds. Volunteering improves your cultural awareness because it makes you see the other side of life that you usually are not exposed to. You understand more other people’s dilemma.

Photo by Alexandr Podvalny

8. I tried to pass the driving test.

We didn’t get to the bus stop on time and so the bus left without us. I felt like I was in a Hollywood movie screaming with outstretched arms “ NOOOOOO!” Getting an Australian driver’s license became a major goal for me.

Written exam- done and dusted! On the other hand, the driving test was a nerve-racking experience for me. I failed the first one because I drove 60kph in a 50kph speed limit road and other mistakes which if I was the examiner, I will not give a passing mark to myself.

I failed the second try and I cried while we were leaving the transportation office. The car windows were open and the guy standing on the footpath saw me. Looking back, I saw his reaction seeing me weep. He looked angry while staring at my husband. I guess he could be thinking “You jerk, why are you making the woman cry?”

Passing the driving test on my third try felt like winning the lottery. At last, I have the option not to ride the bus! When the examiner announced I passed the test, I hugged her because I couldn’t contain my joy! After 8 driving lessons and advice from my patient husband, I did it.

Lesson learned: Try and try until you succeed. Yes, it is a cliché but it is so true.

Photo by Alex Harvey

9. I tried to study a course.

Trying to study while taking care of a family will test your GRIT as a mum. From what I wrote from my previous blog 10 things to think about before enrolling an online course, studying pushed me to my limits and out of my comfort zone.

Time management and setting priorities were life skills that helped me finish the course. It was not easy but I did it. Cheers to all middle-aged mums out there who are continuously studying and improving their craft. Keep up the good work!

Photo by Stefan Cosma

10. I tried to LOVE.

It has been the common plot of a love story in movies. A guy likes a girl but the girl likes another guy. The guy the girl loves is in love with someone else. It is the same story of unrequited love.

I remembered my classmate. She assumed that our male classmate was courting her because he visited her on weekends. She was so ecstatic telling me that he invited her to his hometown and will be introduced to his parents. To my surprise, the next time we met, she told me in between sobs that he introduced to her his girlfriend during the fiesta.

When you love somebody, it is not a guarantee that you will not get hurt. You will because there is too much emotional investment in it. You become vulnerable and gullible. However, it didn’t hinder me loving someone because it is a risk I had to take.

I am glad I did try to love or else I wouldn’t have three wonderful boys calling me mum.

How about you, my dear reader. Is there something that YOU DO WANT TO TRY? As long as it is not life-threatening or not breaking any laws, what is stopping you?

The question for you is WHY NOT?

 Photo by Martin Shreder