Are you Happy?

Are you happy? It is a question so deep you end up thinking about your existence on planet Earth. It is a query that got me wondering if I truly am. As a middle-aged mum, I am already in the stage of not-that-young-and-not-yet-too-old status.

The answer is YES, I am happy!  How about you my dear reader? Are you?

Looking back, there were things and events that lighted the happiness spark in me. One of them is I was GETTING BETTER at something.

Photo by Wout Vanacker

I realized I have a LIFETIME to get better at something so I made a

List of things that I should make time to improve on so that my future joyful self will thank me.

  1. Reach for my toes!

Waistline got bigger in the mid-30s. My reasons are the same as the rest of humanity:

Giving birth (thrice for me),

stress eating ( sweet, salty and savory food )

going overboard during parties

eventually became lazy to do exercise.

Isn’t it quite depressing when we see our old photos and see how skinny we were back then? Stop. No more procrastination. We can do this! We can get better by taking small happy steps to good health!

For our sake, let us give ourselves the gift of a happy healthy mind and body now. I already began mine. Of course, I still eat chocolate. Sure, I feel unhappy sometimes when I miss my daily stretches but I am now making an effort to stay on track!

You know deep inside you the simple exercises that you can start without dreading to do it every single day. Prolonged body aches and pains take away precious family bonding time.

  1. Read more books.

As a mum, I have to learn, relearn and unlearn for my family. There are so many changes happening at this very minute that being updated is a must in the 21st century.

Yes, we can access e-books and informative websites on our smartphones and tablets. However, I belong to the old school. I love to hold a book and turn the next page and put whatever bookmark I can find: receipt, appointment card, a piece of scrap paper. My bookmarks are all in three different books.

Learning mind, happy mind.

 Photo by Annie Spratt

woman reading books

  1. Write better.

I launched this blog in July 2017. I began to write just to answer my WHAT IF QUESTION. What if I started to write and have my own website? What could possibly happen? I just did it because I don’t want my future self to have regrets with lingering questions of what ifs.

I didn’t finish a writing course or took units in journalism but I created my blog. Get better at it by doing it! Learning new words, writing strategies and knowing the right grammar can improve my craft. I still have a long way to go in learning about blogging ideas.

Doing what you love = happy person

  1. Learn to listen more.

Extroverts like me have the skill of talking… a lot. Say Hi, Hello to someone and we are on our way chatting non-stop until the cows come home.

I listen but I have to improve my skill in listening. Other people are good at this skill like the seasoned talk show hosts, reporters, and interviewers. They mastered the art of listening that is why they asked excellent questions which elicited mind-blowing answers.

Listening does not only involve the ears. We need to see the facial expressions, the body language and the setting of the conversation.

For me, becoming a better listener will improve relationships both at home and at work.

 Photo by Clem Onojeghuo

  1. Cook and Bake.

Raising a family prompted me the desire to develop my skills in cooking and baking. Burnt dishes and epic disasters in baking took me to the next level of cooking and baking.

No. I am not yet the master chef. In spite of that, I could proudly say I can cook better now compared to the first year of being married. Thank God my husband was patient enough to survive my errors in cooking.

I couldn’t bake cassava cake before. Now, I can. The possibility of cooking and baking new and marvelous food in the future is exciting!

Improving culinary skills = happy me and family

Photo by Andy Chilton

baking tools and ingredients

  1. Improve job skills.

Two words: Professional development

Professional development is a commitment for everyone who constantly wants to expand the mind. I improve my knowledge and skills by being updated with online training provided by employers. Assessments keep your mind sharp. I read as much as I can and attend seminars as often as I can.

  1. Money management is a must.

According to Kimberly Palmer from her book Smart Mom Rich Mom “We need to take control of our spending.”

The keyword there is control. Every time I see the word SALE, I become alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic – just like the song! After reading the book, I realized I need to get my act together or else I will face the future with apprehension. Am I really prepared for retirement?

At the moment, asking myself “Do I really need it?” is one way of decreasing my impulse buying. I still purchase donuts and a $5 blouse at times but giving in to the temptation to buy just because it is on sale, LESSENED. I still have a lot to learn when the word investment comes to mind. Being more financially literate is the key.

More savings and better financial literacy = happy saver!

 Photo by Jimi Filipovski

dollar sign

  1. Meditate.

It all started with trying it out for 5 minutes after I wake up. During the first attempts, my mind was thinking about the dental appointment, what will I prepare for breakfast and random thoughts like is the rice on sale this week?

Then I got better at it. One Saturday afternoon, I did the cross-legged sitting position alone on the bed. I reached the point my mind went blank. When I opened my eyes, I felt so good as if I awoke from an afternoon nap. (You might say, you just fell asleep, who knows?)

  I felt serenity.

Then my schedule became hectic. I didn’t practice meditation. The saying is right “If you don’t use it, you lose it.”  When I went back to 5 minutes of meditation, thoughts started pouring in my mind that it became chaotic.

At present, I am in my 10 minute-mark and doing it regularly. What if in the future I can do the 30 minutes of meditation like the others? For me, it gives me peace because if my mind is calm, the body will follow.

Here is the link to benefits of meditation.

 Photo by Jyotirmoy Gupta

a girl meditating

  1. Volunteer.

Being a volunteer at school, church and the community has many advantages and one of them is being jolly.

Doing something that will make a difference to others creates a positive feeling. For a change, your focus is not about your issues but someone else’s. Bonus: You will have the chance to do a task with people with interesting personalities. Whether the task went well or not, wisdom points were earned on your part.

Volunteering gave me a chance to get to know my closest friends. Friends help strengthen your faith in God, confidence in yourself and affection for each other. 

  1. Love.

How can I be a better ME in Love? Answer:   BE PRESENT.

It is becoming difficult nowadays to be present at the moment. Here are some examples:

Parent: Multi-tasking mum/dad ends up grasping only half of the idea the child had said.

Spouse: Conversations end up abruptly because of a notification from the phone.

Child: So busy playing video games that all the family members do not exist anymore; therefore what they said went out the window.

Relative/Friend: Half-heartedly listening and paying attention because they are dying to express what they wanted to say (in person or online )

Co-worker: Said hi and hello to everyone but overlooked the colleague who looks upset.

Citizen: Failing to realize you were rude to the bus driver, cashier, nurse, carer and other people because you are so focused on your own problems.

One of my purposes in life is to be a better ME: parent, spouse, daughter, relative, friend, co-worker and citizen. Learning and better relationships happen when there is a commitment to be physically and mentally present.

 I couldn’t see happiness when love and commitment to be present are out of the equation.

Dedicating your life to constantly improving yourself is one good endeavor worth spending time in. Sure, we may be slow and commit mistakes along the way but at least, we did something concrete to change for the better.

I know there will be highs and lows in this journey called LIFE but in everything I do, I do it for the LORD who gives me strength.

Happy is the new rich. – George  Resch

Are you happy? Whether the answer is yes or no, what are you going to do about it?

Time starts now.